What Does Anxiety Look Like?
When you are in the throes of anxiety it seems impossible that you would be able to get to a place of understanding your anxiety, let a lone healing from it. But here I will look at how anxiety often presents in clients that I work with and how we work together towards recovery.
We often hear that anxiety is overwhelming and debilitating, but in reality, it exists on a spectrum. In my therapy practice, I see people experiencing anxiety in different ways. Yet, a common theme is the shame and frustration they feel about their symptoms. Many believe they should be able to “just get over it,” leading to a cycle of avoidance and self-criticism, often called the anxiety cycle.
4 Common Signs of Anxiety
Anxiety can affect both your mind and body. Here are some of the most common signs I see in my clients.
1. Physical Symptoms: Your Body Feels on High Alert
Many people don’t realize their physical discomfort is linked to anxiety. Symptoms like:
- Muscle tension
- Stomach issues
- Headaches
- Trouble sleeping
These occur because anxiety puts your nervous system into “fight or flight” mode. Your body doesn’t distinguish between a real physical threat and psychological stress, which is why even work deadlines can trigger an intense response. Over time, this can leave you feeling exhausted and drained. You become highly sensitised to anxiety.
2. Overthinking: The Mind That Won’t Slow Down
Do you:
- Constantly replay past conversations?
- Plan and prepare for every possible scenario?
- Struggle with making decisions?
This mental hyperactivity is your brain’s attempt to create certainty in an uncertain world. But the more you overthink, the more your brain believes this level of control is necessary—keeping you stuck in a cycle of worry and rumination.
3. Avoiding Uncertainty: The Need for Control
People with anxiety often:
- Feel uncomfortable with spontaneity
- Have strict routines to prevent uncertainty
- Experience distress when plans change
While avoiding uncertainty may feel like it keeps you safe, it actually increases anxiety over time. The key to healing is learning to build tolerance for the unknown.
4. Seeking Constant Reassurance
Reassurance-seeking can look like:
- Repeatedly asking for others’ opinions
- Over-researching before making decisions
- Mentally reviewing situations to “make sure” everything is okay
While seeking reassurance can offer temporary relief, it can also create dependence on external validation, making it harder to trust yourself.
How to Heal from Anxiety
Overcoming anxiety means changing your relationship with uncertainty and discomfort. Here’s how you can start.
Seek Professional Support
A therapist can help you understand anxiety from a physiological and psychological perspective, giving you tools to manage it effectively.
Educate Yourself
I recommend books like Untangle Your Anxiety by Josh Fletcher or overcoming unwanted & intrusive thoughts by Sief & Winston. Or check out the podcast Disordered: Anxiety Help.
Reconnect with Your Body
Many people with anxiety feel disconnected from their bodies. Try:
- Deep breathing exercises
- Gentle movement (like yoga or stretching)
- Grounding techniques (focusing on physical sensations)
Challenge Avoidance
Instead of avoiding discomfort, practice small steps toward facing it. Start by:
- Sitting with anxiety for two minutes before distracting yourself
- Leaving the house without checking the weather
- Setting a “worry timer” instead of letting anxious thoughts take over the day
Final Thoughts
Anxiety isn’t your fault—it’s your brain’s way of trying to keep you safe. Instead of fighting it, learn to work with your mind and body. With the right strategies, you can break the cycle and develop healthier ways to navigate life’s uncertainties.
If this post resonated with you, consider seeking support, whether through therapy, books, or self-reflection. You don’t have to manage anxiety alone